We’re embarking on our second joint Mallee road trip, this time heading to Sea Lake for meetings, lunch at the Sea Lake Hotel and a tour of iconic Lake Tyrell.
We’ll be also dropping by Patche to meet the locals and annoy Bryce at the pub! Sucks to be you Bryce!
The old Ali would have been looking forward to a Mallee road trip like this – with awesome travel buddies and fabulous destinations – with pure, undiluted excitement.
But the new Ali is, as always, torn.
The difference is a three foot tall, blonde, blue eyed, freckle-nosed, quirky madman.
Bilbo Baggins? No.
Samwise Gamgee? No.
Frodo?
No. No-one from Lord of the Rings.
I’m talking about Jed.
The last time I came back from a Reason for the Regions tour, I’d been flat out for a week. I was home most nights but the days were long. Everyone wanted to meet Fiona, which was an amazing “problem” to have.
But we were doing introductions and meetings from 7 or 8 in the morning to 11 or 12 at night, most days.
By the time Friday rolled around, Jed was ready for some mummy time. And I was ready for some Jedi time.
At bedtime, as per our nightly ritual, I lay down next to him to discuss “What did we do today?” But before we got started, Jed hit me with a question:
“Mum, where do you live?”
It was like a knife through my heart. Actually no, it was worse than that.
I felt like the character from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom who had his heart impolitely removed by a psychopath in a horn helmet.
Not that Jed was him, but the sensation was similar.
I don’t feel “guilty” for being a working mum. But I do feel sadness. I’m sad that Jed misses me so much. And I’m sad that he doesn’t get to be with me as much as he would like. I know that for a little boy, those days that I’m away, must feel like weeks. The thought crushes me.
But the sadness has a counterweight.
I feel appreciation for the dedication of my parents whose support has made both mine and Ben’s full time employment possible. I feel proud of the independent, confident boy he has become. I feel excited about what his future holds.
I answered Jed’s question in the best way I could. I told him I lived at home with him and daddy (and Donny, Flossy, Bicky, Jellybean, Dissy and Dazzle). He accepted that.
I hope that as he gets older he understands that although Mum works and will sometimes be away, in a broader, philosophical sense, Mummy’s never going anywhere.
